


Proverbs 14:30

by braidedbootstraps



Series: Seven Deadly Sins [1]
Category: 101 Dalmatians (1961), 101 Dalmatians (1996)
Genre: Abusive Cruella de Vil (101 Dalmatians), Bible Quotes, F/F, I beg your indulgence by asking you to imagine it, Lesbians, anita radcliffe - Freeform, cruellanita, dramatic violin music necessary, envy - Freeform, lesbians being dramatic, sin - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-27
Updated: 2019-08-27
Packaged: 2020-10-01 21:53:47
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 709
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20417000
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/braidedbootstraps/pseuds/braidedbootstraps
Summary: Cruella de Vil writes in her personal journal after a fight with Anita about both women's desire for what the other has. A moody Cruellanita drabble.





	Proverbs 14:30

**Author's Note:**

> Part One of Seven Deadly Sins Drabble series for Cruellanita: mutual Envy

Proverbs 14:30, “A sound heart is life to the body, But envy is rottenness to the bones.”

* * *

  


_ Anita weakens me with her own weakness. _

Cruella wrote in her private journal, having been woken in the middle of the night. She did not know if it was her own fitful sleep or the terrible storm that had woken her. But the thought was glowing on her tongue, and had been since she gained consciousness. Cruella’s sleep was terrible.

“You are pathetic” she had spat at her lover, only yesterday. Her love. The only Anita, her Anita. “You do not even deserve yourself, even less than I do because your talent your… your mind, you’re wasting it!” 

“Cruella, you’re not well” Anita had whimpered at her. Like one of her wretched dogs. But, her voice still had that warm tone beneath it. She clutched the wooden side table, and looked up at Cruella through her greying hair. Auburn strands had fallen loosely around her face. 

“Please” Cruella hissed. Snatching her bag from the table she began searching for a cigarette. “How many times a day do I have to hear this?”

And it was true. Cruella knew she wasn’t well. She hacked out a cough over her journal and clutched furiously at her pen for a moment. But surely she could feel well again, surely she could feel strong again like always if only Anita…

_ If only she could want this enough. If only she would want him less. _

She imagined her, probably sitting at this moment in the dark picking shards of porcelain out of the carpet. 

Anita would always envy Cruella’s things desperately but say nothing. As if Cruella didn’t know, she commented politely on the cut of this new fur, of that coffee table. Of Cruella’s new ornate tea set that was never used, of course. She had loved the way Anita loved things when they were in school together, neither of them knowing then that she would be the one that would have everything.

Anita’s eager voice begged indulgence, and her amber eyes were the only thing worth having. “The only gift for the woman who has everything” she’d whispered in Cruella’s ear. 

Those same eyes had watched Rodger pace the living room from their couch, the first night Cruella met him, and Cruella had only watched her for a moment before she began watching him to. His every move had some secret to love in it she could not perceive. His touch wove some spell of happiness that had no effect on her, no matter how hard she tried. 

Cruella had declined the wedding invitation but sent instead a box of Wedgewood blue china, for the new Mrs. Radcliffe. 

What was it she had wanted yesterday, when she went to see her? Anita served her tea in the same china that was really only meant for show, in their run down living room. She always did, and Cruella would accept it, and the few burnished kisses, and the pretence of looking for Anita’s lost earring beneath the couch, on her knees. Oh, Anita was good, in the clever sense. Neither of them were ever fools.

But yesterday, she thought her one. She should have realised whilst the words were leaving her mouth that she would regret screaming, and throwing Anita’s blue china against the wall. It had simply never occurred to her that Anita would never work again. That there would be children. 

The truth was she wanted Anita for herself, after all. In perhaps the same way Anita had wanted her Wedgewood tea set. 

But what was the cause, of screaming around the pain, clutched at her heart? Anita, painfully dutiful and understanding even in the worse scenarios, had helped her to her car in the end. 

She destroyed Anita’s tea set because she had been the one to give it to her, and she didn’t deserve it. The clock chimed 1am and Cruella felt again that dismal, lingering pain around her heart. The rain pattered on the dark windows, and she found she had to curl back into her chair.

In the end, she wanted what only Anita had, the woman who had nothing. No desire could break her heart quite like this. 

  
  



End file.
